In her post, Stop Trying to Find the Homeschooling Mom a Career, Mother Crone wrote, “I HAVE a career. I am a homeschooling mother, and I LOVE that career.”
Her post was timely for me because I had been thinking the exact… opposite. As I read her words, filled with passion and dedication that extends even beyond the homeschooling of her own children, I knew in my heart that homeschooling was not my career.
I had tried. I wanted homeschooling to be my career. Last year I started a second blog, Homeschool Hacks, when my personal blog was clearly not morphing into the “awesome homeschool resource” I had envisioned. But still, there was no passion.
I became anxious, depressed, moody, and bite-the-head-off-anyone-who-spoke-to-me bitchy. I berated myself for being a selfish little brat. I had a great life, with two wonderful children and a supportive husband. But I could do little more than crawl out of bed and yell or cry a lot of the day.
And this is where I ask, “How did I get HERE?” From successful supermom to lost and lethargic in ten years flat. I love being a mother and being so close to my kids as they learn and grow. I’m committed to homeschooling them, but it is most certainly not my career. I used to think that parenting + homeschooling = thriving. Now I see that, for me, parenting, homeschooling and thriving are three very separate endeavors.
{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }
I feel like this a lot. I don’t really feel trapped in the roles of teacher and mother, since I chose them, but I do often wonder if that’s ALL I get to be. Mother. Wife. Teacher…. that’s it?? I am more than the sum of my parts. I am constantly on the lookout for something I can do for just myself. Just wanted to chime in and say that I agree with you. I wouldn’t give up parenting, marriage or homeschooling for anything, but I don’t think it’s selfish to want something else too.
Wow! What a revelation! Homeschooling is not for everyone, just like being a stay-at-home mom is not for everyone. The hardest part are the years when they are young and you feel like your life becomes a constant surrender to their schedules, moods, and needs. I went through periods when I was certain it would be much more fulfilling for me when I could put out effort and get great returns because the only variable was my work ethic. I am glad now that I stuck with it, as I have grown so much in the process. I am interested to hear the rest of your plans and revelations.
In the beginning, I thought homeschooling was for my family but my son will actually be starting kindergarten in August. I’m kind of sad but I also think it’s best for us right now as I really want this year to be the year that I really grow my business!
you have to do what is best for you and your family. And, I agree..they are 3 very different things!
Part of the problem is that we’ve been seduced into believing the nonsense that we can “have it all” be wife, mother, successful businessmom etc. all at the same time… I have lived in the corporate world, raised three beautiful children, homeschooled them and had my own business.. but not all at the same time.. it’s been great .. all of it.. but I couldn’t go back to the corporate gig nor do I want to have babies again.. been there done that..now as my kids are older I am on a new mission to look for what I want to do now.. (I mean “next”) Opportunity is just around the corner and I’ll be ready.
Amen to that Judy.
I am NOT a homeschooler, because I know my limits. I have a short attention span, and because it’s not something I would care to do, I’d SUCK at it. Kudos to those who can though.
I love your blog! You always make me think!
Thanks you for your honesty in sharing your stories. I find myself where you are and have been a lot. It is amazingly good to know that these thoughts have bounced around in at least one other person’s head too.
I have been searching for homeschooling blogs–never thought I would find one like this! I am really enjoying your writing and thoughts.
I am not homeschooling, just thinking about it with/for my youngest son. I used to teach high school and would love the opportunity to HS and I have such an exceptionally bright child.
Thanks for putting yourself out there for all of us readers!
Oy…somehow, someone always hits directly on things I’m pondering. I think it centers on something our culture doesn’t accept. Depending on which half of our culture you listen to, women find fulfillment and happiness in a) pursuing career or b) pursuing family. That may work for some, but I don’t think it is quite how we were created. They are two halves of the same person, and I don’t know that they can be so easily split.
Still pondering, but I’d love your thoughts as I try to prepare a post that doesn’t turn into a book!
Hope you get back to a career where you have passion again. I have a job too, but it’s nothing I’m passionate about so I’m in the same boat. I can certainly see why you wouldn’t be passionate about homeschooling. It sounds awful to me.
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You hit the nail on the head. It’s painful to admit when we’re not happy when we’re where we chose to be. I totally understand, though at the moment, I’m not a homeschooling mom, I’m just a stay at home mom of a toddler. I left a relatively high-powered career, dealing with office politics, only to find myself immersed in playground politics, and sometimes it frankly makes me awfully sad that this is what the grand adventure of parenting has turned out to be. Thank you for being so frank and honest with all of us, I know it’s not easy to do, but I think it’s important all the same. Happy SITS Day to you again, you so deserve it!
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March 22, 2010 at 7:05 am
At least you’re honest with yourself! There is nothing wrong with wanting something “more”.
Happy SITSday!
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March 22, 2010 at 10:35 am
WOW – that is quite a story! I have the entrepreneurial bug as well – working on my 2nd business… it’s scary but fun all at the same time. You did an amazing thing – you found passion once & as long as you work knowing it is your purpose, you will find it again! I love your writing & that you share with us every week. ~ Renee
With your spirit and experience, I’m sure you’ll find exactly what you’re looking for in no time!
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March 22, 2010 at 11:03 am
Again, thanks for your honesty.
I had to create my own organization from home, too. I need to be working as well or I feel the same way: lazy, lethargic, watch too much TV, etc.
But finding the balance is hard! I have a “mother’s helper” (she’s 11) that comes over twice a week to help me while I work. It has been a God-send.
Twitter: unpinkmom
March 22, 2010 at 11:13 am
for me it was. and now that i am not – i am floundering. since september i have floundered. started meds. restlessly tried to fill that void. now i have accepted my best friends offer to care for her child 4 days a week when she returns to work in May. i am excited. Maybe i should open a daycare. Early Childhood/childhood education is a passion of mine…
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March 22, 2010 at 2:06 pm
I can relate – I think it’s hard to want to be with your kid(s) all the time and then when you DO get that chance to be faced with the fact that you don’t really want to be with them ALL the time. Lol.
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March 22, 2010 at 9:21 pm
This is all very interesting to me. I don’t really understand why people WANT to homeschool – assuming there are options for a good education – and I’ve often judged homeschooling moms as moms who are looking for something to do, a career as you suggested here. Thus they homeschool for themselves, not their kids. It sounds like you are very introspective and I’m looking forward to reading more (and becoming less judgmental) :)
I hope you are having a great SITS day!