My daughter is obsessed with Santa. And not in the “I can’t wait for Santa to come!” sense, but in the “Do you believe in Santa?” sense. She asks almost everyone she meets if they believe. It’s basically her second question after “What’s your name?”
A little background: I am an agnostic. My husband is Jewish and we decided before we were married that we would continue the traditions of his family, celebrate Jewish holidays, and educate our children about Judiasm. We do not attend services, but we observe Hanukkah, Passover and other holidays in our home. My family, on the other hand, celebrates Christmas in degrees that vary from secular to devout Catholic. And we visit them every Christmas.
My son (now 11) believed in Santa for one or two seasons. It was fun for the grandparents, aunts and uncles to talk about Santa and put out the milk and cookies, so we played along for a bit. But as soon as he asked if Santa was real, we told him no. My daughter (now almost 6) was more skeptical at a younger age. She never believed.
Last Christmas, we stayed at my step-sister’s house for the first time. My kids loved spending every waking moment with their cousins. I warned my daughter that my niece and nephew believed in Santa and she shouldn’t talk about it. Silly me. Within an hour of our arrival, my niece was downstairs looking at me accusingly: “Aunt Shannon, Cassie said you don’t believe in Santa.” Oy.
I did my best to smooth things over and my niece and nephew were not swayed in their beliefs. But my daughter can not seem to get Kris Kringle off her mind. She probably talks about the jolly one at least once a week. We’ll be in the car and she’ll wonder out loud if so-and-so believes in Santa. Or she’ll meet a new friend and inform me later in the day that they do (or don’t) believe. She’ll say, “Mom? Why do other Moms pretend Santa is real? Why do they lie to their kids?”
And I don’t have a good answer to that. What would you say?
{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
It’s something that I grew up with and even though my parents were “lying” its a part of Christmas that I remember fondly and wanted to do for my kids. It’s the excitement of entering the room, seeing the tree lit up (usually before dawn) and just wondering what is in all of those boxes! All those boxes that just magically appeared because you didn’t see them piling up around the house before that moment.
I do remember, vividly, the night I found out he wasn’t real. I don’t remember being upset with my parents (well, I was upset with my Dad, at that moment, for spoiling it all.) Christmas eve, bedtime, doing donuts in the front yard, honking the horn, with a car full of presents (they had been stashed at my grandmother’s house) was really not the most sensitive way to tell me!
We believe in Santa and we have a lot of traditions around Christmas that deal with him. Putting cookies and milk out, writing letters, putting out carrots for his reindeer, etc.
I’m an “early shopper” (as you know I’m highly organized) and I tend to have all of my Christmas tasks completed before Thanksgiving with the exception of baking. However, I’m always SUPER STRESSED for the month of December and I realized a few years ago that it’s because the whole keeping up with the Santa myth falls to me. My husband, being from a foreign country, is completely clueless. It stresses me out to keep up with all of the details of all the stories (eh gad, keep Cassie away from my girls. Ha ha). But I wonder what Christmas will be like when the mystique is gone. There will be no more “hoping” that Santa will come through for that one big gift that Mom and Dad SWEAR they will never, ever buy!
Twitter: dianamarie
July 15, 2010 at 9:24 pm
This is a tough one, Shannon.
I would tell her that it’s a tradition — and then compare it to traditions your family holds dear — and say that in many families it is done to continue the tradition — like you continue your traditions.
My own kids have not asked if Santa is real yet. And as you know, my oldest is almost 9!!! That in and of itself is amazing to me. So, for now they believe. But, like you, I won’t lie to them when they ask me straight out. Which means any day could be the day… So, in addition to the tradition explanation if she needs or wants it you could also explain that some kids haven’t asked their parents and lots of parents don’t want to spoil the “fun” of Santa, but will be honest with their kids when they do ask. Like you were with her big brother.
Good luck!
Diana´s last blog ..Things Only Writers Understand
Twitter: PaperBridges
July 15, 2010 at 10:09 pm
I tell my kids that some families do the Santa Game and that it’s not our job to go spoiling their fun/make believe. I also tell them not to be the town crier bearing news kids don’t want to hear! we’ve never done Santa and I don’t think they’ve suffered.
(E once told his cousins there was no Santa but they didn’t believe him. too funny! kids WANT to believe, don’t they?)
monica @ paper bridges´s last blog ..Vacation Bible School 2010 pictures
Twitter: ladyvdzine
July 16, 2010 at 9:16 am
We are teaching our kids that Santa is a legend and that some people like to honor the legend by dressing up and pretending to be Santa.
Twitter: shannonentin
July 16, 2010 at 10:27 am
It’s true, kids do want to believe, but my daughter is still bringing up questions in other kids’ minds and I can’t seem to convince her to stop. I’ve tried explaining that everyone has different traditions and beliefs and it’s none of our business, but she is so obsessed with it…
Shannon´s last blog ..Christmas In July… And Every Other Month
Twitter: youngwifestale
July 16, 2010 at 11:07 am
My mother didn’t want to lie to me. She told me there was no Santa, but I chose to believe friends and complete strangers at the mall who would ask me what Santa was bringing me for Christmas. My poor mother.
I think kids are smarter than we think they are. If they can figure out reindeer can’t fly then I’m sure the rest is figured out. I think this Santa thing is more fun and entertaining for the parents than the kids.
Kari´s last blog ..In The Search For Groovy Green Eco Lessons
Twitter: forloveorfunny
July 21, 2010 at 5:16 pm
The Santa question was one of the few things my husband and I didn’t agree upon when we became parents. Personally, I didn’t want to lie to my kids about someone who doesn’t exist. I also wanted them to appreciate that the presents came from loving family members, not some dude in a red suit. We eventually decided not to promote Santa, because we didn’t want our daughters to ask us why we lied to them.
Lynn from For Love or Funny´s last blog ..How to stay fit
Twitter: mommydskitchen
July 25, 2010 at 9:50 pm
I don’t really have a comment about your Santa post. I just wanted to say that I REALLY love the layout of your site. So clean and uncluttered unlike a LOT of other blogs out there.
Mommy D
A nice blog, thanks a lot.
I love Christmas … but still do not want to be every day. That makes it more special
nice post….I love Christmas!
wow! amazing post i l
Interesting article and post. Thanks for sharing with us.