“Do not handicap your children by making their lives easy.”
-Robert A. Heinlein
This quote came to my inbox yesterday from ScreamFree Parenting, one of my favorite web sites. Then I read Diana’s post, Do Your Kids Know Why You’re a Pushover? Both brought to mind something that I’m not very good at: discipline.
There are some benefits to being undisciplined. I’m creative, agreeable to change, and I have a freedom in my life that allows me to pursue many interests, people, and places. The main problem? When the going gets tough, I raise the white flag.
Ultimately, my lack of discipline results from wanting to make my life easy. Is that a bad thing? Who doesn’t want an easy life? As time goes by, however, the long-term effects are perhaps not making my life easier.
I’ll never be a hard-ass parent. I’ll never be the type to get up every day at the same time and follow the same routine. I don’t want to be that person. I do want to get better at seeing things through and providing an example for my kids. For the past year, I’ve been moving towards more discipline. I’ve been better about exercising. I’ve recently found some homeschooling inspiration (thanks, my friends!) and I’m starting to feel my mojo (it only took me 5 years). I’ve come to terms with what it means to me to have (or not have) a career.
I’m moving forward. Onward towards a semi-disciplined life?
{ 9 comments }
Twitter: HeadlessMom
August 20, 2010 at 12:34 pm
I’ve recently smacked myself in the head with “hey! a little discipline and routine can be good! and productive!” also. Mind you, I’m also the one that may or may not chuck routine for a good glass of wine. Just sayin’.
Headless Mom´s last blog ..All There is to Say
Twitter: alexcampbell11
August 23, 2010 at 7:25 pm
Just like the above commenter I too smacked myself in the head this weekend to the benefits of discipline and routine. And my goal IS to be more disciplined and routine-ish this week I still love not having a routine and I will never fully conform.
Just found your site today because of your e-mail re: Inner Mean Girl Cleanse! Wonderful stuff you are creating!
Wanted to add that many of us have trouble discipling our kids because our parents never taught us about creating our own bondaries, and we get confused as what love really should look like in our lives, what actions we should take as parents. I’m reading an awesome book called “Boundaries” by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend on the subject. They are Christian and write from this perspective, but non-Christians could greatly benefit from the book as well.
All the best,
Gretchen
Personal discipline, such as eating right and exercising, is (at least for me) a lot harder to stick with than disciplining my children to do the same thing. I’m guessing it’s because I put their needs first? Something to think about.
Twitter: meaganfrancis
August 30, 2010 at 10:50 pm
I have always been the person who resisted routine and discipline. Yet I’m at my happiest and most productive when my life has some structure to it (note: we’re still not living on a SCHEDULE) and my kids seem to be more relaxed and better behaved, too. When you do things the harder way for a while, you start to realize the harder way isn’t so hard after all, because it makes your life more efficient and less hectic and chaotic all the time.
Twitter: shannonentin
August 30, 2010 at 11:08 pm
Very true Meagan. I’m also finding that not having a schedule makes it easier to shrug off certain responsibilities like making dinner, exercising, etc. Not a good thing.
I am certainly not a routine or discipline person. I think though that routine is important for some things – one thing being cleaning ones teeth!
For me though my son (who is now 3) has gotten himself into his own little routines. I remember when he was 1 he was going to sleep at 12 at night and people thought I was made for not forcing him into a routine..but I was really relaxed about it and knew it wouldn’t last forever. From that point to now..he has gotten himself into a regular routine of going to bed at between 7-8pm all initiated by him. He is really awesome.
As for discipline – I am not an advocate of it. I follow Naomi Aldort’s advice in her book Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves and it has worked wonders with my son and I feel really good about it.
I think in some respects we make parenting harder for ourself..i.e. when we are in a rush to force them on to a new developmental stage or get them off breastmilk and onto solids..but I think if we just relaxed a little bit and went with the flow a lot of things could be much easier.
Also discipline I feel is for my husband..I am too much of a softy I guess too!
thank you so much for such a great subject its so hard to find such a very usful and greatful informations it took me a loon to find such a very good matrial thank you so much indeed
monk tv show´s last blog ..Episode 16 Mr Monk and the End – Part 2
Hi Shannon! Thanks for this post
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